Role Play Start That Fills Up Space

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Jared eyed Arthur on the floor, the man oblivious to his very life-threatening situation. "Those two...?" he growled. "Oh well. The little girl does look like she needs help... When didn't she..." [BUNNY MOMENT] He took Arthur by the arm and slung him over his shoulder. "Hope he doesn't wake up. Probably has ten thousand other dangerous chemicals in his pockets and everything."
With Krystal, he hesitated, more tempted to step on her than anything, seeing as he'd already passed up his chance with Arthur... But that wouldn't do anything. He grabbed her arm and held her under his arm.
"Hey, if things look bad, run like hell." He twitched his head in their direction and took off as fast as he could towards Sol.
Forget it. He wasn't giving away his gun.

Always Faithful.

Aaron and Elizabeth Louis


Aaron ducked, just as an arrow whistled past his head. Again. He barely made it to his sister, picking her up, and dashing, leaving a bottle, stolen off Arthur, in their midst.
"Hopefully, this'll give us enough time..."
With that, he threw Elizabeth's stick at the bottle with as much force as he could muster, watching it shatter, splashing the elves with liberal amounts of sedatives. And broken glass. There was no telling how long they'd be out.
===
He ran, catching up to Jared, just as Elizabeth woke up.
"...What'd I miss?"
She swore, as pain shot through her shoulder.
"Great. So, you didn't manage to get us to Sol yet?"
"...I made a distraction. And I need to pay Arthur when we reach Sol."
Knowing the man, he'd probably be giving up all of his money.

Through the haze of my concussion, I began to flash back...

...I was walking home when I saw a funeral in progress at Forest Lawn cemetery. I decided to pop in to see what was going on. I walked up the marble path, up to a rather large memorial service for what appeared to be a baby that had died shortly after birth. The family had really gone all out, the tombstone was massive and the coffin had gold embroidering, really expensive. The people looked about what you would expect, all dressed up, mothers were crying, and even a few fathers couldn't hold back their tears.

After the opening hymn, people started to filter up to the microphone to express their condolences to the family. The grandfather said some words about how everything is a blessing even if it doesn't seem like it, the brother of the father reassured the family that, if they ever needed anything, that the family was there for them.

Then a man walked up, about in his late 40's, and said "Although I don't really know the family, or the deceased that well, I want to say, I'm sorry for your loss. I too have lost a child." He walked from the mic, over to the families, shook their hand and walked away.

He didn't know the family? So, it seemed ANYONE could say something at the funeral.

I straightened my tie, put on my most sorrowful expression, and walked towards the front. I approached the man holding the microphone and, in my most solemn tone, asked if I might say a few words. The man smiled warmly and handed me the microphone, completely oblivious to what was about to happen.

I turned to face the crowd, all intently looking at me with the most melancholy and tearful eyes you've ever seen. I cleared my throat and said my piece:

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I DON'T **** A SANDWICH BEFORE I EAT IT!"

The crowd was horrified. The sound manager tried to unplug the speakers before I could finish my joke, but to no avail; he didn't react fast enough and couldn't get himself together before the punchline rang through the cemetery.

The crowd went fucking batshit. The reaction started with sheer shock and horror, and ended in a blind rage, with everyone, even some of the veterans from the Elven wars and grandmothers in the crowd, trying to tackle me to the ground.

Luckily, I had already started running. Good thing too, God knows what would have happened if they caught me. Probably have thrown me into the grave with their failure of a living baby. I had to run around for a bit, but I eventually made my way to the western exit. I'd never had so much fun in my entire life.

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Jared heard more footsteps behind him. Elizabeth asked a question. "Hello there, redheads," he greeted them. "You didn't miss much. Mr. Arthur has been drooling down my back for a while. Would you like to take him? ...Nevermind. I think Sol is still a bit further."
He adjusted his grip on Krystal. "I hope the little girl wakes up soon... She's heavier than she looks."

Always Faithful.

Aaron and Elizabeth Louis


"Geez, I'll take the kid. She'll come 'round soon, judging by what happened last time."
Elizabeth snorted, getting off of Aaron's rather awkward one armed piggy-back and then quickly removed the smaller girl from under Jared's arm, albeit with some difficulty. She then hefted Krystal easily onto her back.
"Well then. Let's get goi--"
Through the gap in the canopy, from an unknown source about a kilometre or so from them, a plume of bleak gray smoke was visible, hovering in the air.
"Guess the disease got them already. Means there'll be more to scavenge."

I was jolted out of my happy reminiscing by a particularly sharp ... well...jolt.

Oy! Watch it! I'm- OOMPH

Edit: Army jerk roleplayer says: I object to your bunnying. In fact I removed it. Hope you don't mind.

Krystal Yuno

Always cute

Through the whole time Krystal had her eyes closed and was about half awake and half fainted. The sting in her back was just as excruciating as before, she was drifting in her own land and felt the light continous thump and suddenly she snapped back into reality. "Woah!" she immediately jumped off Elizabeth when she though she was suspended in mid air. She landed head first onto the ground. "Ouch!!!" she groaned and stumbled to her feat, the pain getting worse as more of her body energy was absorbed just by standing. "Who, what where, how, when?" she said in the confused device that she called her 'brain'. "Did we defeat them? Are we at Sol yet? Does anyone have food...sushi..." she spluttered out anything that came to her brain, she must have cracked...


[Btw you guys, Krystal is obviously mentally injured by her passing out and being knocked on the head and obviously her back... it took me a while to figure out how to post on this new theme...]

Yet always evil

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Jared looked down his nose at Krystal. "Welcome back, little girl," he said disparagingly. "We are not at Sol. As you can see. There is probably something else wrong with you. Poisoned arrows, perhaps? Come here."
With an air of totally-not-pedophilia, he strode over to her, dumped now-awake-Arthur on the floor, "You'll manage," and replaced him with her. So she was now slung over his shoulder, held there by his right hand... Like a sack of rice. She wouldn't be able to escape, and anyway she was addled enough as it was.
"Just to update you... The redheads created a distraction of some sort. It should hold those lowlifes, and hopefully we're far enough by now that they won't find us in a hurry. And what the hell is sushi?"

Always Faithful.

Krystal Yuno

Always cute

Krystal's face turned red as she was flung into the awkward position on Jared's body, she pulled down her skirt as she felt a slight breeze in all the wrong spots. "Oh, I see," she said and realised through the slowness of her brain he had asked "What is sushi?" Her eyes opened widely,"Mr Jared!" she said in a slurred voice, "When this is all ovah, or IF this will ever be ovah I'll show you what sushi is! She said with a smile,"Or we can check if Sol has a sushi train! It will be so fun all my new friends eatin' sushi with me!"
[Ovah=over, eatin'=eating, she is saying it all very slurred like she is drunk]

Yet always evil

Wee: I don't mind...but you did it anyway. =_=

What? So now I'm not brain damaged enough for you to carry? I made a great show of painfully pulling myself to my feet, even though only my head was throbbing.

Heheh. So you got mentally injured by fainting and getting a spear shoved up your arse? Weakling. I chose to studiously ignore the fact that I had passed out from sitting down too hard. And the fact that, when the brat came back to her senses (hopefully never) she would most definately kill me.

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Jared decided to ignore Krystal, who was most definitely brain damaged. Well, more than she had been before anyway. "Trains made out of sushi," he muttered. "I see."
To Arthur, he simply replied, "The Crown's army consists of males only, you see." Anyway, she's more fun to feel up than a man with bristles and dangerous substances in his pockets. And too brain-damaged to even notice.

Always Faithful.

Seeing as I had absolutely no idea what the army jerk was talking about, I resorted to insults. It's always the best course of action.

What? So you joined for the fetish fuel factor? Hot, sweaty, buffed men training together?
Or are you just really desperate for female company. Because, seriously, Sol has a good whorehouse, and there's nothing remotely attractive about lolicon.

Or not.

Aaron and Elizabeth Louis


"...How...clumsy are you?"
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at Krystals antics. Aaron muffled laughter.
It was, however, rather disconcerting to see a thirty year old man carrying a nineteen year old girl like that.
"...That reminds me. Sol shouldn't be too far from here. Another ten, fifteen minutes of walking or so."

Krystal Yuno

Always cute

"I did not get a spear shoved up my ass, excuse me! It was an arrow Mr Blind that got shot to my back, and who said I am mentally damaged? I'm not mentally damaged!" Krystal said with a glare, not knowing what was happenning. She took on hand on her skirt and another hand on her staff in case it slipped out of her belt. "Let go of me!" she yelled wiggling around but not being able to escape his tight grip.

Yet always evil

Hey look. I healed her drunkeness. I remarked dryly.

It's so sad I couldn't cure your stupidity too.With that remark, I sped up my pace. Death looked imminent.

Aaron and Elizabeth Louis


"Isn't an ass a donkey?" Aaron whispered, raising a questioning eyebrow to Elizabeth. She shrugged.
"Best to let her blow off some steam. The bugger deserves a bit of a beating anyway."
Aaron simply nodded. Best not to get electricity skewered through his body. He didn't fancy becoming a roast, no matter how well done he may have been.
"...Like I said before. Sol."
He simply pointed to a thinning of the trees, as well as the appearance of a noticable path.
"Run faster," Elizabeth called after Arthur, chuckling to herself. That man was an idiot. Yes, anger the hormonal barely not teenager with a lightning staff.

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Very deliberately, Jared raised his tallest finger at Arthur, then said, "No, girl, you're not 'mentally damaged', which is completely why you can't bloody stand. Stop squirming, or I'll shove your staff up your ass so far you'll get a third breast. And then I'll set it on fire."
His speech paused for a while. Then, sort of as an afterthought, he asked, "Do you have any breasts? Nevermind. Let's-just-keep-moving."
[I put on his sheet his soft spot was women. Lizzy changed that, being female and yet not at the same time, so I can now fluctuate the meaning a little...]

Always Faithful.

The army jerk was waving at me. With one finger.

It looked as if he didn't truely appreciate the ancient meaning behind that holiest of hand symbols, the middle finger.
What's that? You want to have intercourse with me? No thanks, though I suppose you might miss doing it after leaving the army. Of course, the only reason I said any of this was because I was safely out of reach.

In fact, when I turned around again, I could see where the forest evened out into fields. Burning fields. Of fire. And burning.

Aaron and Elizabeth Louis


"Told you they got here first," he muttered dryly, sniffing the air.
"So, are we going to run through? The fire isn't blocking the path."
As she spoke, a few trees up ahead, already engulfed in flames, dropped off a couple of branches. She paled slightly.
"...Well...shit."
They both completely ignored Jared. Elizabeth, because she was still staring at the flames with abject horror. Aaron, because he was too busy examining the trees overhead, to see if the fire had spread.

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Jared, ignoring Arthur (he knew he was straight, and anyway had had his fair share of little girls in the past), stared up at the canopy. "Shit's the word," he muttered. "They're burning those touched by the infection." He gave a start. "That means there must be others who're still alive, and not living dead! If we find them, maybe we can, uh... Do something. Before we drop dead from infection too."
Filled with renewed vigour, he waved his free arm. "Come on! Military outposts are never far from the borders of a town. And also very hard not to spot. What are we waiting for? Unless of course you'd rather all the trees caught on fire, trapping us..."

Always Faithful.

Krystal Yuno

Always cute

Krystal screamed when she heard Jared comment about her breats. "YOU PEDOFILE LET GO OF ME!!!" she screamed suddenly very frightened because she was in the arms of a guy who would think about shoving her staff up her ass until she had a third breast. "I would rather drag myself across the ground with my hands than to be held by someone who thought like that, Mr Jared let go , PLEASE," she when she said please she kicked him in the area which happenned to be where his dick was. (Oh what an unfortunate accident she ment to kick his stomach)

Yet always evil

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Jared looked down, mildly surprised, as when Krystal's leg connected there was a faint 'thung' noise. Then he put her down.
"You should join the Crown's army, girl!" He said, flashing the largest false grin he ever had in his whole life, leaning towards her, his eyes wide open, looking frankly quite not-Jared-like. He raised one hand and formed a thumbs-up in her face. Then he straightened up, letting the whole thing drop, his customary I-hate-you-all look returning. "That's a very common move on the battlefield. We've been made to take precautions, like steel-plated undergarments." He exhaled, shaking his head. "On the topic of your third breast, I told you to stop squirming or I would do it. I wouldn't do it because you looked hot or anything, because you are most certainly not. Besides, from the way you behave, throwing yourself at men..."
He coughed, very lightly. "Shall we move on?!"

Always Faithful.

Krystal Yuno

Always cute

Jared's face popped in front of hers and she scream and shuffled 5 metres away, "You stay at that distance Mr Jared!!! Your...your...your just wrong...and a freak of nature I give you that to wear steel underwear. Please tell me we will reach Sol soon, Aaron," she said in a hopeful voice checked her skirt was pulled down once again. She actually thought he had an erection but found out he was wearing steel undies...

Yet always evil

Aaron and Elizabeth Louis


"...The town should be right through these fields."
He was silent for another moment, then purposefully started walking, getting Elizabeth to follow. His feet crunched through the burnt grass, and they both had to duck and weave numerous times, to avoid falling branches, or stray embers.
"Oi, pedo-bear and missy, hurry up; the entire place is going to catch on fire soon."

Jared Barrows

Semper Fi.

Jared scoffed. "Bear? I believe I am a human. I thank you for comparing me to so formidable a beast of nature. Tasty, too. Are you coming, unshaven monkey?"
He followed the siblings, raising his right arm above his head and conjuring a clear ice shield on his forearm, to defend his luscious locks from the fiery embers of scorched trees.
"I wonder what sort of sight shall greet us upon arriving in Sol," he murmured to no one in particular. "We may well find a hospital to dock the little girl in. I hope so."

Always Faithful.